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This episode offers an insightful exploration of the dynamic world of peer support. The hosts shed light on the distinction between peers in a workplace setting and the unique role of peer support—individuals who have weathered life's challenges, gained valuable insights, and emerged as compassionate pillars of support.
The peer support landscape has evolved significantly in recent years, boasting comprehensive programs at both state and organizational levels. From certifications to mental health peers and even within 12-step programs, the peer support community continues to expand.
Cinnamon emphasizes the critical role played by peers as conduits, acting as bridges between those seeking support and the information, guidance, and empathy they require. Their discussions delve into the nuances of peer connections, the impact of shared experiences, and the power of a supportive community.
The hosts explore how individuals often first encounter peer support before considering professional help. Peer recommendations serve as gateways to further assistance, creating a chain of support that builds trust and rapport.
Touching on the listener's key takeaways, the hosts underscore the importance of peer-to-peer connections and the significance of genuine, relatable conversations. They delve into the emotional first responder role that peers play, highlighting their immediate response and the dedication they bring to their voluntary roles, available 24/7.
Erin and Cinnamon delve into the emotional and empathetic nature of peer support, emphasizing its pivotal role in crisis intervention and the ability to guide individuals towards outside resources or treatment when necessary. They paint a vivid picture of the passion and commitment displayed by peers, who go beyond mandatory training, viewing it as an exciting opportunity for personal and professional growth.
In addition, the hosts touch on an upcoming event taking place in Northern Kentucky where resources, peers and speakers come together for 2 days in the name of mental health for first responders. For more information or to register please visit:
https://kyfrpst.org/
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/tactical-tools-for-thriving-kentucky-first-responder-peer-support-team-tickets-787607213377?aff=oddtdtcreator
DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop has been presented and sponsored by Whole House Counseling. After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional health care advice diagnosis or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of assistance. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information.
ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat):
EP42-Code Solidarity
Cinnamon: should I assume, Erin, that the topic of our discussion today is going to be Peer support.
Erin: It sure is, Cinnamon. Peer support.
Cinnamon: What is peer support, Erin?
Erin: Well, I will say that. We've actually talked about this on the show before where you've mentioned there's a difference between like a peer as in a coworker, somebody you work with, and then a peer as in peer support, which is someone who's been through the shit, who's done it, who understands, who can relate, have compassion and be a support system.
And it's, it So, the peer support world has expanded quite a bit, especially in the last few years. There's whole programs happening, states have their own programs,
Cinnamon: certifications.
Erin: right.
Cinnamon: mental health peers, I think even 12 step programs, the 12 step is, and meeting, it's all peers. what you and I [00:01:00] do here is we just kind of act like a conduit for peers, We interview people that have been in the seat, who have had the thing happen, been through the shit, got to the other side, and we hope will inspire our individuals listening.
I mean, we don't necessarily have a leg to stand on in and of ourselves without those, peers being the ones to say similar things that we're saying. And we learn from them, you know, they teach us at the same time that we deliver the information.
Erin: Yeah, and often folks, will go to a peer, they'll meet a peer first, like that is kind of like the chain of command. Not like it's meant that way...
Cinnamon: the gateway,
Erin: right, the gateway to us, but that might be their first introduction to what getting support looks like. Then from there, the peer would recommend somebody like us. I mean, sometimes they come straight to us. Especially now that it's becoming more normalized to come to [00:02:00] a therapist, but,
Cinnamon: I think that, yes, we have a higher frequency of them coming straight to us, but when we think about what a peer does, one of their primary roles is that community resource networking. So, they know who. We are and they know who the rest of us are. So when somebody does come to them, they can provide them the support that is within their wheelhouse and scope.
And when they're like, Okay, this is above my pay grade. Here is a list of people. You can contact, we've vetted them, we've scouted them. Some of our peers will say, we've worked with them. You know, or like, they're my clinician. I think, that goes back to these are not the people that are gonna go on to Google and just search for a therapist. The trust is so important and it comes from word of mouth. You can spend months and months and months [00:03:00] building rapport, or you can have somebody who already knows you legitimize you by saying, hey, go to this person. they're the real deal. And you just cut your work in half. You know, can't fuck it up.You can't go against the work, but it's already You know, you can sabotage it, but ideally you won't.
Erin: right. So what are some touch points that you really hope for our listener to take away about peer support.
Cinnamon: I think depending on which world you're in, because we are the clinicians, we often get put up on these pedestals, we were recently told that by one of our friends, like, Oh wow, you guys, Are real people with real emotions when shit goes and so it's a peer to peer connection and it's somebody else saying, I've been there.
This is what I did, right? [00:04:00] So it's like, I'm not telling you what to do. I'm telling you that I will listen to you. I will empathize with you. I can share my own story and I can help you navigate this by Letting you know how I got to the other side and that it is hard and it can get dark But if you do the work the other side is so beautiful And you get to live a life that you can't even fathom So to me it really Um, and then the last one is peer support. the emotional first responder, They're responding, immediately. maybe you and I have some boundaries where we shut our phone off at 10 o'clock. But those peers, They take calls 24 hours, They are volunteering their time and they are highly trained. not only do you have to do that initial peer, training to be a certified peer, but then like anything, you've got to keep your training up. And, and also [00:05:00] what I see with our peers is they're so passionate that it's not. like, oh, I gotta get my, you know, professional training hours in.
It's like, ooh, this training is coming up, and we're excited about it, and we see that's who our leadership is when it comes to our mental health conferences. And, all that stuff, and it's middle, bottom, leadership up, It's not usually a chief that initiates this.
these folks are trained in therapeutic communication, active listening, crisis intervention, and they are that bridge to get someone to an outside resource or treatment. If that's what the situation calls for and it doesn't always if they didn't exist There would be a lot of people who wouldn't get any help because peer support is help Not everyone has escalated to the point where they need therapeutic intervention So if I'm one of those guys that [00:06:00] says well, I don't need to see a therapist And there's nothing in between nothing and a therapist, then I might not ever talk about my problems.
But if I've got somebody in my department, who I can, reach out to, or somebody in my department that's, trained, not just my buddy who knows my mood changes, or my partner, my crew, whatever. But somebody that can be like, man, are you doing okay? What's, what's going on?
You look like something's up. I know I get the response a lot where people are like, how did you know anything was wrong with me? like, I thought I was hiding it. And I'm like, well, it's a skill. Like, yes, some people it's like a natural gift. Like, you know, highly sensitive people or empaths, whatever.
But we also get trained on how to view people a little more transparently so they can see the guard and the facade.
And, I just think that's crucial and when you have not only people in your apartment or your agency, and [00:07:00] then you have a larger organization, like, what if I have a beef with the person's peer support in my agency?
And I don't want to talk to them, like, I've seen them, gossip about other people five years ago at the kitchen table or at roll call and that's not the person that I trust. Well, guess what? There is organizations, peer teams, that you can reach out to somebody outside your department. there is no reason.
that you can't find someone to talk to. even if you're not a department that has your own peer team, you've got a peer team in your area. and this is where I say, I don't care what kind of first responder you are. You know, if I'm fire or dispatch and all we have is law enforcement, by God, that's who I'm calling.
If I'm, fire and dispatch and all we have is law enforcement, that's who I'm calling. it is that idea of I get what this job can do to you, [00:08:00] and I've been through it, I've had that cumulative stress, I've had that critical incident, and I went through it, and I'm coming out the other side, here are the steps I took, which is a lot of like what Jason Warn does,
Erin: Yeah. and, Jess and actually a lot of them.
Cinnamon: all of I was thinking about who we've had. Tim, Callahan, Sean. I mean, they're all involved in peer support. And then there's the other side, too, of being a peer. It's I am a peer, and when I go and support my brother or sister, it puts me right back into a position and a reminder of where I was.
Erin: And how quickly I could get back there and the concept of helping another person actually improves my life because I'm focusing out. the saying is when in doubt, focus out. That's a great way to make yourself feel better, improve [00:09:00] your confidence and self worth and those kinds of things.
So it's not just a one direction kind of thing. It's a give and take, both are able to receive something from it.
Cinnamon: It's the giving that gives back, right? If nothing else, it's a way to celebrate your own progress. While remembering what it was like as somebody who has their own diagnoses, It would be lovely if I could just say, I'm cured from all of these, chemical imbalances or, my neurodiversity of like ADHD, but the reality is, is no, I have episodes too.
And as much as I hate them. you know, I really don't enjoy it. it makes it so much easier to remain empathetic because it's like, Oh God, [00:10:00] yeah, that sucks. And I think it can be easy when you get into that listening role, you know, kind of like that desensitization. And I, I've seen that happen where people are like, no, I don't think you get it.
You're not hearing me when I tell you how bad it is and as much as we hear like, oh, they don't want their therapist to cry when they talk about the dead baby because then they never come back. It's also that other side of finding the balance of being like, okay, yeah, and they're like, no, but this was really hard for me.
And I'm like, yeah, it's really hard for everybody, so you have to find that balance between, breaking down in tears and being like, Stone Cold Austin. Where did that come from? Stone Cold? And then Austin just kind of flew out of my mouth. It's my wrestling history. Stone Cold Steve
Erin: Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha.
Cinnamon: I don't think I've told our audience this, but think [00:11:00] you do know, that Lex Luger, was the father of my Cabbage Patch Kids.
Erin: No. Why?
Cinnamon: um, because wrestling was my life,
Erin: Ha ha.
Cinnamon: and I used to like, get really angry and would cry when my sisters would tell me that it was fake.
And then, of course, right? Exactly! Like, no, it's super real. but then I found out, you know, Lex Luger had his Hands in some dirt related to the lovely Elizabeth's death and the lovely Elizabeth was like the manager of Randy Macho Man Savage. Do you know any of the people that I'm talking
Erin: I know I do, but I don't know the details of what you're talking
Cinnamon: Okay,
Erin: Yes.
Cinnamon: we can do a quick tutorial later. I can send you some YouTube videos.
Erin: Okay. Great. So
Erin: Are we encouraging people to be peers? Are we encouraging people to use peers as [00:12:00] another support system? Like I feel like we just kind of jumped in and didn't set any context. Like I don't
Cinnamon: well yeah, there was one thing that you said right at the beginning and I had it written down as like a lead in but Like as you were talking about these aren't just peers as in we do the same or similar jobs it's I'm Leveled up here and that I've been through that shit too So what we see is, and this has been my experience and what I've seen as a trend, is if you haven't really been through something hard that affected you deeply, deeply, personally, where it took you to that edge, you're probably not super interested.
When we do see people coming out of the woodwork to be peers, it's because they have gotten to the other side or Hell, I've had people that were halfway to the other side and they're like, I want to be a peer [00:13:00] and I'm like Let's get you a little healthier. . I would love to have you join a team absolutely and Let's get a little more health under your belt,
Erin: but you can always still be a listening ear and a support system without being like a peer on your credentials.
Cinnamon: right? Absolutely, the thing that I love watching is when someone goes from Struggling in silence because they don't have any hope of it getting better And they think that if we just ignore it, then it'll either go away or it won't exacerbate And then they begrudgingly and, you know, sometimes willingly come in and they start hearing things that connect with them and then that those things have solutions and answers and that level of excitement.
It's like, Oh my God, I didn't know this. I want to go shout from the mountain tops and share it with everyone. You don't have to live like this. so to me. The [00:14:00] special thing about peer support is they have seen the solution. They have seen that other side and they are so excited because they know that desperation.
They know that quiet suffering and so we want you to be equipped, but that does not mean even before any formal training can't be like, Hey, are you, are you okay? What's going on? You want to talk? I'm noticing you're a little off today or whatever it is. it's that therapeutic communication.
It's active listening. It's asking a question, shutting your mouth and actually hearing what's coming out of the other person and yourself in those shoes. And there are some people that are not cut out for this. Right? How many times do you, we have people, even, you know, I was talking to Zach last night, and my other nephew was here too, and they're like, I could not do your job.
And I'm like, I get it. Not everybody can. [00:15:00] Just like I can't do a lot of other people's jobs.
Erin: Just like I can't be a hunter.
Cinnamon: right, right, or a dog musher, like Logue. the thing that I love about peer support, that a lot of times the people that are benefiting from that listening ear, is they don't get to see that level of enthusiasm, of like, I've seen the light.
You can kind of compare it to somebody being born again and then going out and proselytizing, it's, I know how hard it can be. You don't have to suffer like this anymore. And those are the folks that are enthusiastic, that are wanting to go to those trainings, that are, organizing the conferences.
so, if you are one of those people that have seen the other side and you haven't made your way to a peer team, find out what's in your area, even if it's not in your agency, because once you get through that other side, there is so much [00:16:00] value that you offer, far more than what people like Erin and I can offer. that's a completely different wheelhouse. And unless I want to go be a firefighter, or a police officer, or a dispatcher, I'm not going to be able to relate. But what we are seeing is a lot of folks, because of the retirement age, or just leaving for other reasons, where they go get degrees be able to do clinical work.
And, That tells me that's how powerful this side is to be able to see that light Recognize that there are so many tools that there's not something that can't help everyone and they want to be a part of that I would also Encourage the people who haven't been through it to pay attention to those peers it may be harder to buy in Or you haven't felt moved to participate yet.
But while that is the trend, that is not a requirement. [00:17:00] You don't have to have had this horrible bad thing happen. It can just simply be cumulative. The other thing that I see a huge gap in is leadership peers. So if I'm a chief of an agency, I sure as shit am not gonna go ask my unpromoted peer support member to emotionally support me, Now, maybe if I've had a 20 year career with them and they're my buddy. But there is just the organic part of being a chief that you keep, you know, your cards close to your chest. And the only people that you oftentimes feel comfortable talking to are other chiefs or other administrators high up. And, I've had people say to me, well, I'm this, who's going to want to talk to this? And I'm like, this is exactly what we need.
Erin: You start it.
Cinnamon: Yeah,
Erin: Yeah, why don't you be the one starts this whole, entity for leadership.
Cinnamon: well, and think [00:18:00] about the idea that like, not only have I had This career of exposure of cumulative stress, but now I'm navigating Half of a department hating me half a department loving me people think I'm the leader But actually I have a city or a township above me or a village or whatever like I'm still middle management even though from one perspective I look like I'm tippy top of the chart and so If our regular, direct public servants need this, then you gotta believe sure as shit that our chiefs and lieutenants and captains and sergeants need this.
And the further you go up, just like any hierarchy, that triangle gets smaller and smaller and you have less of a pool. To draw from.
Erin: Mm hmm. Yeah, so I think the call to action here today is one, be in relationship with does your department or agency have a peer support team? If not, how can you either [00:19:00] A, create one, or B, locate one close to you? Because it's just like we talked about way back on episode two with Mythbusters of Therapy You might not need a therapist right now, and it doesn't hurt to have one in your pocket just in case, just being educated about who That is out there for me in the event that I, do need support.
And you might not ever need to talk to a peer. That might not ever be something that comes up for you, but just to have that in your pocket as another tool in your medic box, you know, like just, just an extra added precautionary thing.
Cinnamon: and when you're facing a traumatic event, that doesn't always feel like the time to build rapport, right? Like, I need solutions. And so to me, it's like, come see me once. I don't need you to schedule again for a while, but know who I am, know my phone [00:20:00] number, know my email, and when You reach out however many days, months, years later, I can be like, I remember you. And we've already got that so we can go right into
it. don't wait until you need it. To have that phone number, And we're pretty public, there's several of us in the city, and so, and there's, you know, two thousand of us across the country. We're places where you can meet us and decide if we are your flavor.
You know, and if we're not, there will be somebody. And if that person isn't, then there's somebody else. Or, like, what did Jess say the other day? Sometimes you have to date a lot of therapists to find the right one, right before you get into a relationship. Yeah, not every good therapist is a good fit for every client. It doesn't mean that they're not a good therapist, it just means that that's just not your
Erin: Yeah, just like whoever's on the peer team within your area might be [00:21:00] someone you don't want to talk to, you don't feel comfortable talking to, you think that they would know too much information about you or whatnot, but you could go next door. And so being in a relationship and understanding, what are your options so that you can be taken care of in the event that that happens and you're not having to scramble, like, Uh oh.
I went through this horrific thing. I can't handle this anymore. I'm really struggling. Now what? I'm just feeling like I'm at a loss.
Cinnamon: and I would even say for the peers, who are already established and have been doing this work. This is where we can relate. How easy it is to get so caught up in the helping that you get off balance with your own self care. And I always think that if you're peer support, you need a therapist, just like as a therapist, I need a therapist.
there's gotta be somebody to empty your bucket to. we've had situations where, peers have been in scary backed into [00:22:00] corner moments where they're like, Oh shit, how did I get here? If you're a peer, that can happen slowly. It can happen quick. Ask questions. It can happen quick.
Have phone numbers. Where it all of a sudden is like, this is over my head. I think about how recently, I've been contacted for critical incidents and the last department, was not within reasonable driving distance, . And, uh, the folk said. Call Cinnamon. We've met her.
She's come here for a training. we want to use her. Well, the reason they met me is because I was in another city responding to a line of duty death, and I was just there for support. And that happened to be the department that was coming in doing relief so everybody could attend the funeral. And I was asked to come to that because I had helped somebody at that department because another peer support had already used me, So it's like, this is how this works. It is a [00:23:00] web, it is a network, and there is zero reason to fall through the net.
Because everybody is a phone caller or text away now. But, we've got so much technology that I don't even have to be next door.
Erin: Mm hmm. Yeah. I do want to add, that, Kentucky First Responder Peer Support, team is hosting their third annual, mental health First Responder Symposium. They didn't add the word mental health, but this year it's going to be a two day event and it's happening May 21st and 22nd.
They rolled out the information for it to register, but it's one of those opportunities to get in the mix, to get some resources. We've talked about the importance of conferences and networking and being part of the mix.
Cinnamon: And it's usually in Erlanger, Kentucky, at the St. Elizabeth's, education center. So, that is centrally located for Indiana, South, Western Ohio, and [00:24:00] Kentucky. it's nothing to drive a hundred miles for a conference like this.
Erin: Yeah.
Cinnamon: I'm excited that it's two days this
Erin: Two days, they've got some good speakers, resources, breakout sessions. You can pick and choose what you want to learn about or hear more about. You have options. and they're even having a special spouse event too at night after day one.
So, yeah, they're showing up, they're trying to check all the boxes, which is super cool, but, these folks, they're peers and they are doing things on a much bigger scale and you're seeing this happening much more out there because they see the benefits of being in action and being in front of people and letting people know that they are here and they exist and it's pretty special.
Cinnamon: And we get feedback from the peer team members, about even our own episodes. Like, hey, right now I'm, supporting a lot of folks who are, asking questions around these themes. [00:25:00] Will you put out an episode on this? And we're like, absolutely. really that emotional first line of defense, we know all these issues, but if it's coming from you guys, it helps us tremendously.
and maybe that's another call to action we can throw out there. we talk about calling the hotline, but if you ever have a topic that you would like us to dig into, you know, share with you all, please just email us, or contact us on social media, because we're always, open to hearing what people want and not just doing what we think sounds good.
Erin: It's all beneficial, but we would much rather do things that you actually want to hear about and learn about. That's for sure.
Cinnamon: Unless, of course, what you want to learn about is why. My Cabbage Patch kids had Lex Luger as a father that I can't go into publicly. There's a What is it when you have to stay quiet
Erin: Um, hush.
Cinnamon: [00:26:00] No, it's like a contract like a non disclosure. Yeah, so
Erin: I'm like yeah.
Cinnamon: the the stuff So
Erin: All right. Peer support.
