Pound for Pound: With Monica Crawford

EP80: Pound for Pound

00:00:00 Cinnamon: It's the first responder, the first to get the call, the first on scene, greeted by God knows what, pushed beyond the limits that they don't even set. Then what happens? You're listening to After the Tones Drop. We're your hosts. I'm Cinnamon, a first responder trauma therapist. 

00:0026 Erin: And I'm Erin, I'm a first responder integration coach. 

00:00:30 Cinnamon: Our show brings you stories from real first responders, the tools they've learned, the changes they've made, and the lives they now get to live.

00:00:49 Erin: A quick heads up before we start. We want to acknowledge that some of the content we discuss on our show can be triggering for some listeners. Some of our episodes may touch upon themes like traumatic experiences, PTSD, suicide, and line-of-duty deaths. We understand that these topics are sensitive and might evoke difficult emotions. If you are currently struggling with your mental health or have experienced traumatic events recently, listen with caution. Now, if you're ready to proceed, let's begin.

00:01:22 Erin: Hey, listener. Welcome back to After the Tones Drop, the podcast where we get real about the challenges faced by our first responder community, but most importantly, how to overcome them. Today, we're joined by our guest, Monica Crawford. She's all about taking control of your health and thriving both on the job and off. Monica has a pretty inspiring story. 

She started out as an NCAA Division 1 gymnast, earned her masters in criminal justice and spent time working in the Ohio court system before jumping into law enforcement in Oklahoma. However, after dealing with three and a half years of chronic stress and policing that impacted her mental and physical health, she made a huge move that most of us wouldn't have the guts to do. She resigned and built her own online coaching business for female first responders called Five-O-Fierce and Fit.

00:02:18 Erin: Monica's taking everything she learned from the stress and toxicity in law enforcement, combined it with her passion for fitness and nutrition, and now she's helping first responders claim their mental and physical health. She's on a mission to help you take back control, find balance, and thrive long after the job is done. She even wrote a book about it, Thriving Inside the Thin Blue Line, where she fearlessly shares her story and offers resources to help other first responders do the same. Monica has been featured in Blue Magazine and spoken at some of the biggest first responder conferences in the country. We are super excited to have her here today to talk about her journey, her business, and how she's helping to change the culture for first responders everywhere.  

00:03:06 Erin: As always, don't forget to hit that subscribe button and share this episode. This is one conversation you certainly don't want to keep to yourself. And if you're looking to take your own mental and physical health to the next level, be sure to check out our copper warrior program at copperwarrior.com. All right. Let's get into it. 

00:03:29 Erin: Okay. There she is. We're on business. Welcome Ms. Monica Crawford. We are so excited to have you. Thanks for moving locations so that we can be sure to catch all of your awesomeness. But what I was saying, there's various reasons why we are so excited to have you. And the biggest one is one, we love having our females on here. Well, why? Because we're females. The amount of men we have on here is vast. As far as the ladies go, we don't have a lot. So it's so important to have that female voice be heard.

00:04:05 Erin: The other thing that's super cool is that you are in a unique position where you are still in law enforcement part-time, as well as going on this whole new venture and become an entrepreneur and creating this career and being an advocate and helping other, specifically females that are in this community with their health and their fitness and how that directly relates to supporting themselves with processing through, I imagine, their trauma, their stress, all the things that happen in law enforcement is really cool what you're up to. How would you feel about just giving us a little bit of a synopsis about what you're actually doing in terms of your entrepreneurship and how that directly relates to being able to still maintain being in law enforcement part-time and how you see those working together? 

00:04:41 Monica: Yeah, so I created Five-0-Fierce and Fit in January of 2022. It's an online nutrition and fitness coaching company for female first responders. I create customized programs for you based on your specific goals, challenges and needs. And obviously we take lifestyle into account and things going on with work and at home to make it set for you. So I was at the time working to get out of a toxic police department. 

00:05:18 Monica: It was starting to affect my mental and physical health because of what was going on in that environment. And I knew I needed to change. And so I was looking for ways to either transition out to a different career field, whether it was going to be under the criminal justice umbrella, maybe not necessarily law enforcement. I was entertaining all options. And this opportunity to start a business kind of fell in my lap. 

00:05:40 Monica: It was like a Facebook ad that landed in front of me one day. And I was like, you know, at this point, like I've got enough background. And I was a division one gymnast. I had been in CrossFit for eight years at the time. I had my nutrition certification. I was like, I've got probably more education experience in all of these things than I do in actual law enforcement right now.

00:05:59 Monica; So this is a viable thing for me. And I created it while I was still full-time and was literally burning the candle at both ends, like working all of my off time on this business, trying to get it up and off the ground. And then things that worked snowballed till about maybe it was April of 2022, when finally it was like, I had one more door slammed on me of like a job interview where I was the final two. 

00:06:24 Monica: And they're like, hey, we went with the other person. And I'm like, well, all right, it's time to jump because I can't stay where I'm at and everything just happened to align then. I was able to go full-time with the business. I was able to move back part-time. I switched to a different agency to work part-time for, and then I've been running this full-time ever since April of 2022. 

00:06:43 Cinnamon and Erin: Wow. 

00:06:44 Cinnamon: There are no coincidences for sure, right? Like you needed one more no to find your yes. It's pretty cool. 

00:06:54 Monica: Pretty much, yeah. 

00:06:55 Erin: Yeah, and you're the one that chose the yes. No one chose that for you. And in my experience, that's kind of how it goes. We make a decision and we act on it, even though we don't know how it's gonna look. And that's when things open up. It's in all of that risk. I'm thinking like specifically in the making of the decision to jump ship and jump into this entrepreneurship. What changed for you pretty quickly as soon as you made that decision? 

00:07:21 Monica: Within the police department, basically starting in January of that year, I had been having some challenges and some struggles leading up to that but the writing was on the wall. I was put into three different disciplinary issues in the span of six weeks without ever having any disciplinary issues in my life, pretty much, let alone was in the police department. And so the writing was on the wall and I was already kind of at my tipping point there, but it just kind of pushed me over the edge. 

00:07:46 Monica: I wound up in an internal affairs investigation that was more of a common practice type thing where I did what everybody else did and commonly did, but when I did it, it was incorrect. And then the precedent was established after the fact of like, it wasn't a rule that you broke now, but now it is. Now we're gonna make sure everybody knows that this is a rule that you broke. And I'm like, okay, whatever. 

00:08:08 Monica: There was no malice in this. It was literally common practice. And so at the time I was like, I just couldn't do it. I woke up in the middle of the night and I don't know if I had a panic attack. I don't know what it was, but I was like sobbing uncontrollably trying to figure out why this was all happening to me. Like what was so wrong with me at the time? Like why are all these people treating me this way?

00:08:26 Monica: And of course you start to think you're the problem because everybody's reinforcing that you're the problem. And it was just taking me down a path where I was like, I can't, I can't keep doing this. I don't want to see myself continue to fall apart even more than where I'm already at. And so that was the tipping point. I waited till they came to their conclusion of whatever they wanted to do with the internal affairs thing so it wouldn't appear sketchy that I failed in the middle of an internal affairs investigation. But basically what they determined that they were going to hand me down a letter of reprimand or whatever, that's when I turned in my two week notice. Like, I'm out. 

00:09:00 Monica: We were actually supposed to be on vacation at the time. And it was kind of just the random events that happened. We were supposed to be at like the Dominican and my horse, I've got a horse at home. She colicked the night before we were supposed to get up and leave. And so we had to cancel that too. And so we were at home on a staycation after that. I was like, I think I'm gonna turn in my resignation. And I did. 

00:09:19 Erin: Did you feel like you could finally breathe when you decided I'm gonna turn in my resignation? 

00:09:24: Monica: I did.

00:09:24 Monica: It was funny because my husband who I met at that police department, he and I were both staring at my work computer that night. I typed it up. I was staring at it for like half an hour. Do I hit send on this thing? Are we really doing this? And he was finally like, Yeah, I support you on this. I think it's good for you to do this. I was like, okay, click send. It was like a weight lifting off. But at the same time, I didn't have enough PTO to burn where I was still going to have to work like a day or two and those couple days I still had to work within those last two weeks was miserable. 

00:09:56 Monica: But other than that, like the day that he went into work and I didn't, it was one of those weird things where I was on the couch saying goodbye, have a good shift, we worked the same schedule. And then I just sat there and I was clicking away on the computer and made another post that day, which was funny because it was one of those things that kind of went viral too in the community of what I posted. And I was like, huh, other people resonate with this. 

00:10:16 Erin: Wow. So you just stepped right into leadership and advocacy from like second one by even sharing that socially, gave people a voice. 

00:10:25 Monica: Yeah. 

00:10:26 Cinnamon: When you think about coming from both the coaching side of it and the policing side of it, as well as both the coaching side and the student side or the athlete side, what do you feel like are the biggest mental health and physical challenges that you've seen first responders face because like you just said, this resonated with other people. 

00:10:50 Cinnamon: You weren't alone in this sentiment and you've probably had lots of opportunities to not only navigate your own stuff, but now also hearing other people's stuff. And I know for Erin and I, we've decided there's like 10 problems that people have. That's it. Like nothing is so ridiculously unique that we're shocked by it. So it's like the same 10 problems with a different script and different characters, but those core issues. What would you say are the things that you've seen from both sides? 

00:11:23 Monica: I recently wrote a book and it's been released. It released in July. It's called Thriving Inside the Thin Blue Line. And it details my story in law enforcement and specifically the three and a half years I spent inside of that department. And it follows the three times in three and a half years that I felt I had to pull myself out of a dark mental hole. And so in sharing that story, I've gotten feedback from others as heart wrenching and validating as it is.

00:11:49 Monica: They've literally told me, thank you for sharing your story because I was reliving my story through yours. So it's a lot of those same challenges for me specifically. And in this book too, I actually highlight a lot of emotional abuse terms that apply to this. And you think of the police world, the big bad bad egos for emotional abuse. What's that? We don't know what that is. This is just what we deal with every day. Things like moving the goalposts kind of having to chase the carrot of what you feel is correct. 

00:12:16 Monica: And that was part one. Nothing I did was ever correct. It was constant criticism. If it was right by one person, it was wrong by the other. So it was trying to navigate what was expected of me. Because as a new employee, even though I had prior experience in law enforcement, you want to build a good reputation for yourself. You want to have trust in your coworkers. You want a good vision of who you are and what you represent. And so you're trying to be right by all these other people. And then it's just never just the right thing. I'll say till this day, like one of my biggest regrets in law enforcement was losing myself and trying to please other people. 

00:12:47 Cinnamon: Ooh, can you just say that one more time? What again was your biggest regret of leaving, of sitting through disciplinary actions, whatever you've been through, what was your biggest regret in that? I'd like you to say that again. 

00:13:02 Monica: Losing myself and trying to please other people. 

00:13:07 Cinnamon: Yeah, that's it, right? Like that's it in a nutshell back to those 10 problems, right? Like if we can highlight that effort of, I'm so confused and I'm exhausted and I feel defeated because I can't do anything right, but who the hell is defining right? 

00:13:26 Monica: Yeah, yeah. There was that issue, there were issues with other coworkers. I had probably, maybe called it such a boy, had a sergeant who hit on me, who became very inappropriate, who was basically the reason why, he was kind of the driving force of why I left because he promoted to my shift captain. And he was the one who started the internal affairs investigation against me. Like he wrote it up and initiated it. And so I caught him in the book, slimy Sergeant, and then he becomes slimy captain. Because I kind of just gives you that feel that what could feel of that individual, maybe a little bit. 

00:13:58 Cinnamon: Definition of sexual harassment. If you don't give me what I want, I will torment you. 

00:14:04 Monica: Yep. Pretty much. And that's what happened. He did one of those where he tried to be, he was a friend and then he tried to pull me under his wing. So then he went through like a dumpster fire of a breakup inside the police department and he was known to try and dip his toe in the dating pool in the PD and make his rounds around like the other women. And then I was next in line and I basically shut him down and told him no. 

00:14:24 Monica: And then my now husband and I started talking and dating and then when that came out, I think that's about the time when those issues started when he found his way into a role above me. Then that's when those issues began. 

00:14:36 Cinnamon: I am so glad that you said that. And you know, we're willing to be specific and I really appreciate your willingness to say those things because I'm sure there's always that concern in the background. Like how is this going to negatively impact me? But I have female friends who work in law enforcement or work in the fire service where they have had the exact same story. They took me under their wing and they were mentoring me. And next thing I know, they tried to put things in my mouth.

00:15:10 Erin:  Mm-hmm.

00:15:11 Monica: Yeah.

00:15:12 Cinnamon: Right. Like, the question that I asked you, I had an addendum to it as far as comparing your experiences or looking at that larger picture. But if I asked you to specifically hone in on the experiences of female first responders, do you feel like the experience of the mental and physical challenges shifts from the general first responder that we know is male dominant versus the female, which has niche problems that are unique to being female, being minority in the department, whether it be perceived by the internal or even the community. Do you feel like those are different when you specify on female?

00:15:58 Monica: It can be. I've worked with three different law enforcement agencies throughout my career. It's funny because they're all wildly different in the way their environment was. I've had a very negative environment. I've had a very positive environment and I have one that was kind of in the middle. As far as those challenges go, like being a woman getting into a male driven field, we're already kind of like puffing our chests out a little bit going, I know I've got more challenges in front of me.

00:16:21 Monica: I know this isn't going to be easy, but I'm also willing to do the work and doing what I need to do to get on. So I think women come in underrated, so to speak, kind of like the underdog of like, we have more to prove. And that's fine. It's a fact. No complaints. It's just like, we've got more challenges in front of us. And one of the motivating factors I like to use in my coaching business is, we've got to be stronger than the guys. Pounds for pounds, we have to be stronger than the guys.

00:16:46 Monica: We have to be thinner than the guys. Because your average 5 foot, 150 pound female needs to be able to lift and drag somebody who's 200 or 250 pounds, just like the 350 pound guy needs to be able to pick up somebody who's 250 pounds. So you have to level the playing field as far as the physicality of it, because everybody's got to show up and do the same job. But I think where we run into more than maybe the men do is that we prove ourselves, and we're like, hey, okay, we handled our fall today.

00:17:15 Monica: But then again, it's tomorrow. It's like, well, we still don't think you can hack it. So then you got to prove yourself again. And then it's this over and over cycle where you're constantly being made to feel like you're not good enough. Another thing I like to tell everybody is you'll never be good enough for the wrong people.

00:17:29 Erin: Ooh. I know, I'm like, is that a T-shirt? No. Right. Five-0 and fierce.

00:17:37 Cinnamon: And what you just said, I was looking for a pen, but Erin doesn't like me to write and move around because I tend to do it too much. But what you just said, pound for pound, we have to be stronger. And I feel like that's literal and metaphoric.

00:17:53 Erin: I'll write it.

00:17:54 Cinnamon: Thank you. Yeah, Erin's allowed to have pens. I am not. And let me tell you, she cracks the whip. So the idea that you've got a lower weight, and so that body has to be just as strong to be able to do the same thing, but also the strength that you have to have to be able to go into that environment knowing that you're at a deficit only in all these people's minds.

00:18:24 Monica: Yeah. And I've seen it too from the public side of things and you kind of just get numb to it, where somebody will walk up and shake my male partner's hand and they'll look at me and walk away. And I'm like, have a nice day! Like, they don't acknowledge you or recognize you and you're kind of just like, whatever. Like, I'm here in the same uniform as this person, but it doesn't matter to you. That's just one of those things that we deal with. I feel like that you're just like, you just have to ignore and keep going because obviously you can't change other people.

00:18:52 Erin: Right. Well, I'm so glad that you're bringing all of this up. And mainly because several weeks, months ago, I don't even know, we released an episode called The Elephant in the Room. And it was about ageism and sexism in this particular field. And we did get some pushback. We also got a lot of people that was like, hell yeah, finally somebody said something. But I was fascinated at how people interpreted it. Especially when it comes from a male. And my experience was that they would be like, this isn't happening. We actually do whatever we can to make sure it doesn't happen.

00:19:25 Erin:  And I'm like, right, but you don't have a vagina. You don't actually experience, and this goes on no matter what job you do. In the work field for women, we're always having to try to prove ourselves. We're not getting paid as much, all the stuff that we already know, but especially when it is this male dominant field. Now I respect the fact that there's certain parts and things that need to happen in this line of work that it does require you to be stronger, that it does require a certain level of fitness.

00:20:01 Erin: And also there's still that pushback of, yeah, but she's still a girl. Like she's never gonna really hack it. Like that behind the scenes conversation, even if they're not saying it out loud. You know, like kind of like they're big brothering you. Like they're watching you a little extra close to make sure or to be proven right one way or the other. Make sure you don't get injured or prove themselves right.

00:20:24 Erin: But I guess I say all of that to ask you this one question. What suggestions would you have for your other female peers in this work field? Obviously you specialize in working with females with Five-0-Fierce and Fit, but what is the advice that you might have for somebody that is still doing this career, maybe full-time and experiencing the same things?

00:20:51 Monica: It's kind of two-fold. And one is that it starts with you. It starts with your decision to show up as the best version of yourself every day. Because if you make the changes that you need to show up as the best version of you, that can be contagious as far as you affect your coworker next year that you usually sit and talk with at work and so on and so forth. Maybe even it's like, Hey, like you're looking great. You're looking sitter, you're looking leaner. How are you doing it? Well, here, let me help you.

00:21:16 Monica: Let me help you make the changes that I've made. And it can be a ripple effect. And ideally that's what we want. I believe change starts on the individual level. You can sit and gripe about admin this, admin that, whatever, but it's not going to change anything. And the only thing you can control is what you do. So if you can show up as the best version of yourself, that's going to help. But there is the other part of it where you do control the environment that you put yourself into.

00:21:40 Monica: However, you can't necessarily control that environment. So depending on whether that's positive or negative for you, and whether you feel like you can make it work, or it's too detrimental to you, I always say seek out where your value is respected and supported.

00:21:53 Cinnamon: We have a friend who says, I can't control the people around me, but I can control the people around me. Yeah. Like I can't make anybody do what I want them to do, but I can make choices about who I choose to surround myself with.

00:22:09 Erin: Yeah. First of all, yes, I love what you're saying. And I completely agree. And we just had this conversation this morning about teaching some of our clients on how to change their perspective. It's like, yeah, you can't control whomever but you can also decide not to take the bait and change the narrative of the whole entire story. So as far as the clients that you work with now and supporting them, do you create packages or whatever to support them in the release of stress as well as this fitness side?

00:22:44 Erin: Now we know that physical and mental go so hand in hand, but if I am a law enforcement officer that comes to you and says, I'm dealing with the same things you are, for example and I'm also feeling like I need to be stronger, faster. Do you focus more on the mental side or the physical side or a combination of the two?

00:23:05 Monica: I would say the physical side of it is probably the last thing that we actually focus on. I teach it this way and I create it like a pyramid. In the bottom of the pyramid is your sleep. The second tier is your self-care. The tier above that's your nutrition and the tier above that is your exercise. Because when we're looking at a goal of trying to lose weight, we're saying at the very basis, most people come to me because they're trying to lose weight or add some strength.

00:23:28 Monica: We often say, well, I got to get the gym. Got to get the gym. I'm too tired to get the gym. And then it's like this battle of like, well, I'm worn out. I can't get the gym. I'm too tired, exhausted. I just can't get the gym and therefore I'm stuck. True and false. So the exercise becomes the very last piece of that. Because if you don't have the foundation below that, the exercise is not going to matter. If you've dug a hole six feet in the ground and you're thinking exercise is going to help get out of that hole, it's only going to dig your hole even deeper because you're neglecting everything below that.

00:23:55 Monica: So the nutrition piece is the piece that's the most confusing for people that people need help navigating through. So we do focus on that. For instance, if somebody comes to me week one, I take a look at their nutrition and see what their normal looks like. And usually I'll give a tip or two to start helping them improve that. But at the same time, it's what does your sleep look like? Are you sleeping seven to nine hours a day? Okay.

00:24:16 Monica: Well, no, probably not. Well, that's why you're snacking. That's why you're having these cravings. That's why you're reaching for the caffeine. That's why you're reaching for the sugar is because you're not sleeping. So let's fix the sleep. Because without the sleep, you're not going to be able to fix the nutrition. And then we look at the self-care. They're like, I'm really stressed out. I'm running ragged. Okay, what are you doing for you? What are you doing for you? Are you taking 10 minutes out of the day to sit in silence to have your cup of coffee on the porch? Are you reading? Are you meditating? Are you going for a walk? Are you doing your hobbies?

00:24:46 Monica: I love to hone in on hobbies because we forget we have hobbies. We forget we're people with hobbies and other likes and interests outside of work. So I love to bring that back into play of like, we had these hobbies before we got into the career field. What happened to them after we started? Where'd they go? Like, that's a part of us before we started and then somehow we forget that part of us. And so trying to help people find joy in those hobbies that they no longer do anymore is a way to really fill their cup back up because they're so drained.

00:25:13 Monica: So it's the sleep and the self-care. We work on the nutrition kind of all the time as far as the educational part of it. But those foundational things are so important because if you don't have the sleep or the self-care, especially the mental health part of it, I think most of us have been to a point in life where we were so drained our mental health just sucks. Like in survival mode, nothing happens in survival mode. So again, try and dig yourself out of that hole where you're in survival mode. Like it's not gonna be like, oh, well, gym's gonna fix it.

00:25:39 Monica: It's like the other parts of the pyramid that are so much more important, even in that exercise piece.

00:25:44 Cinnamon: It sounds so simple. You know, we just did an episode on sleep and how, like, you cannot work on your mental health if you're not sleeping. You're starting out in the hole. And that's one of the most primary basic things that we can do to improve. But one of the challenges that Erin and I have been talking about is this whole consumption of water. The idea that you have to drink water.

00:26:09 Cinnamon: And Erin and I are professed Coca-Cola classic addicts. And I've recently been trying to drink a lot more water. And by the end of the day, I have no room for a sugary beverage. And I also learned that you can't lose weight if you're not at least in part pissing it out. So like, it kind of goes hand in hand. All of these real basic things that go back to our physical and mental health that seem so simple, and yet I can't think that I'm the only one that didn't know these things. There is a deficit of information. Like we may know what the Kardashians did this week, but we don't know how to take care of ourselves effectively, which is sad.

00:26:54 Monica: Right. And that's one of the main problems like the intro part of my book highlights as well is that our departments teach us how all of these tactical training tools and how to essentially do our job, but they don't teach us how to survive a 20 or 25 year career. It's those simple things that when I teach in person or at public speaking at conferences, I try to make it very basic and very simple to understand and easy to implement, especially when it comes to the nutrition side of things.

00:27:21 Monica: I break it down into three pieces. That's what do I eat? What foods do I eat? How much do I eat of those foods? And how do I make it fit for my shift work? Boom, boom, boom, one, two, three, from like foundation to making it apply to my lifestyle. And then I go in and break it down even further. And then creating a meal, for instance, of creating a balanced plate. You gotta make sure you have your protein source, you have a carbohydrate source, and you have your vegetables.

00:27:44 Monica: Teaching people how to meal prep around that and make it very basic and simplistic to put it on a plate. Because most people are like, well, I hate cooking, I don't have time, I don't wanna make these, I don't want Tupperware containers lining my countertops, like this is overwhelming to me. And so you can break it down where it's more simplistic and easy to implement than kind of looking at the whole thing at once and try to attack everything at once.

00:28:05 Erin: Just tell them to get some bento boxes. 

00:28:08 Cinnamon: Oh, jeez. 

00:28:10 Erin: My five-year-old's like, my food cannot touch. So we have bento boxes, those things are the jam and you don't have a ton of Tupperware. But all jokes aside.

00:28:17 Cinnamon: Her 48-year-old also cannot have her food touched. Yeah, that grosses me out.

00:28:26 Erin: Oh, that makes me laugh because it's like, it just goes to show how quick we are to make excuses to not do the thing. Like something as small as, I don't wanna have this stuff laying all around, it's too hard. Well, yeah, it's hard. If it was easy, you'd be doing it already, or we would all be doing it already. And so it's like, okay, what is more important to you doing these extra things, having a couple extra dishes, taking these extra steps, or still having poor mental health? You have to choose. There's gotta be some inconvenience, and eventually it will become just another part of your day-to-day life. It won't be so inconvenient anymore.

00:29:02 Cinnamon: So this is day four of me trying to drink 128 ounces of water a day. And the first day, I didn't finish until like 11 o'clock at night. And I'm like keeling over on my fainting couch telling Erin how it's so hard. And the next day I finished at 9 p.m. Then yesterday I was so excited when I texted her and said, I finished at 5:30. It was like, it took three days to create at least something that felt manageable.

00:29:34 Cinnamon: And I think like if I would have just given up on day one and said, this is too hard, which haven't we all done quit after just a little bit of an effort and said it was too hard on a wide variety of things, then you never get to see the benefit. And I have found it very interesting what first responders consider hard versus what they consider easy. I'm like saying you're sorry, feels like moving a semi-truck with your big toe. But running into either gunfire or fire, either way, is just like not a big deal. So yeah, I could see why they need that extra encouragement like 128. 

00:30:16 Monica: Yeah, part of it is too is just giving somebody a plan and the guidance to follow through because if you think about it, no one wants to keep doing something on repeat when they don't know if it's giving them the benefits that they want out of it. So, it's like saying, well, I know I need to get the gym, and you get the gym.

00:30:32 Monica: But you're meandering around all these machines and you're like, I don't really know what to do. And so, I'm gonna hop on the treadmill for 30 minutes, and then leave and then feel like I'm wasting my time essentially because I'm not getting to where I wanna get to. So, it's having the structure, but also giving them what they need to start seeing the results because once you have the accountability to keep you consistent and then you start to see the results yourself, you're like, okay, this is working, this has a purpose. So, a lot of people say they lack the motivation. Well, a lot of times it's, I need the structure and the guidance.

00:31:01 Monica: Because once I see that this is working, the motivation is there to keep going because you know it's working for you. And that's why a lot of people have like the on again off again, whether it's a diet or an exercise program. It's like, well, I don't really know if this is working because I'm waiting this and then I'm not really seeing the results. So, what's the point of continuing with it if I don't know that it's working for me? 

00:31:20 Cinnamon: Yeah. OK, so let's flip this around. What would you say are the important things when you look at nutrition and diet in terms of what you're eating, not like dieting, but your diet? What do you think is the importance in that aspect for your mental health? Like what does good eating do to improve it or help maintain quality mental health? 

00:31:47 Monica: So, there's this thing called the gut brain connection and what you put into your body, what you put into your gut is going to affect your mental health.

00:31:56 Monica: Your dopamine and serotonin is stored in the gut. Your hormones are stored in the gut. So, people don't realize that a lot of what we eat affects our mental health. Most female first responders who come to me and want a one-on-one coaching program are under eating. So, you're under fueling, but you're also not giving your body the right foods and then you're wondering why you're sluggish and you're in a brain fog all the time. That's why. So, if you can give your body whole foods that are less processed, then you're going to naturally see an improvement as far as your mental health goes.

00:32:27 Monica: I've had some women either reduce dosage or come off of their mental health medications throughout our six-month program, just because they've changed, they've improved the quality of the food that they're putting into their body. 

00:32:39 Cinnamon and Erin: Wow. 

00:32:40 Erin: Wow. That's huge. 

00:32:41 Monica: Yep. 

00:32:42 Cinnamon: So, if somebody wants to work with you, one, do you have to be a first responder? And two, what does that look like? Like, what does the program look like that one would be signing up for? 

00:32:56 Monica: I will not turn anybody down if they come to me and ask for help. The only caveat is that it just needs to make sense. I need to make sure that what I have the answers to what you need or what you're looking for. So, I worked, like I donated a program for like a nonprofit type of thing. I think it was like a victim advocacy type thing. And so, I'm actually currently coaching like a stay-at-home mom, who's not a first responder because she won that raffle. 

00:33:21 Monica: And it was a good fit, so it's fine. I've coached males, I coach guys before. If they come to me, they're like, hey, I see your help with women, can you help me too? And it's, yeah, absolutely. I just don't market to guys. I can help men, it's just the difference in goals, just a little bit sometimes. So, if someone comes to me, one says "I have these goals I wanna work towards," I usually, I spend about 30, 45 minutes getting to know you to learn your goals, your challenges, and your needs. And then I create a program for you based on that.

00:33:47 Monica: So, starting with the nutrition piece, one, I'll have you log your foods into MyFitnessPal. I learned what your normal is, because my goal is to give you small weekly goals to start focusing on to slowly change and improve what you're doing. It's not meant to be like a night or day switch of like you're on the diet, you're off the diet, all these things. It's more of just small goals that will help you get there. Based on your experience with working out and where you're at, I create a fitness program for you.

00:34:11 Monica: It can be anything from four to five days in the gym, if that's what you want, you're used to, or if you're just getting started, I have the bodyweight beginner type program. That's three days a week in your own home. So, it's anywhere in between basically what you need and what's going to fit best for you. Some women come to me and say, hey, I like my beach body workouts. I like my orange theory workouts. I just need the nutrition piece. Fantastic. If you have the fitness piece that's working for you, let's not change it. Let's leave it. It's not my thing is better for you. Once like I'll give you my opinion on it.

00:34:38 Monica: But it's not like me trying to sell you on what I'm doing. It's you got to find what works best for you. So, we put the nutrition piece with the fitness piece week to week. I do weekly check-ins. That's where more of the mindset and the mental health comes into it is more of like the coaching that I do week to week is just shifting perspective on what you're doing a lot. Like for instance, somebody will say, well, I had a cheat day, or I fell off last week. Things went shit. Well, it's not necessarily cheat day. How about we say maybe those choices were not necessarily effective for your bowls, but you needed that day just to relax and decompress.

00:35:08 Monica: So, the example I like to use is thinking of food as being effective or ineffective for your goals instead of good or bad, cheat day, not cheat day, that type of thing, because something that might be effective for you, obviously, yeah, like chicken, rice, and broccoli is gonna be absolutely a great choice for your meal, but who wants to live on that? Nobody, not me. So maybe you have a girls' weekend, and everybody wants margo, margos, tacos, and margaritas. That might be not necessarily an effective choice for your diet, but it could be an effective choice for your mental health because you're going to be with friends. 

00:35:39 Monica:  You're going to be enjoying foods that you still want to enjoy. So, it makes it more of a sliding scale of effective versus ineffective of like, it's not black, white, pass or fail. It's figuring out how to make it into a lifestyle where you can have those things. You can have those weekends and those dinners and meals and enjoy all the things, but 80% of the time, you're doing probably what's more effective for you. And maybe those ineffective quote unquote meals are still effective in another way.

00:36:07 Cinnamon: That was brilliant. I love the way you reframe stuff, and I also think that you may have just coined a term for either Margo or Marco night, combining margaritas and tacos. Like everybody's going for a Marco night. 

00:36:24 Monica: Yes. 

00:36:27 Cinnamon: Erin just put out an episode on how we can shift our own narrative, regardless of what the event was because we get to control the story about whether something is good or bad. And I love how you're removing those terms and replacing it with what I would call something more accurate, right? Like, good and bad. 

00:36:49 Cinnamon: There's nothing to be demonized here, but the idea of if it's effective towards meeting your goals or if it's ineffective. And it also broadens the idea of what are we using as our goals in that scenario when I say it, like I'm terrible about hanging out with friends. Terrible at it. So, if my goal is to improve my self-care by hanging out with some girlfriends, then perhaps that isn't ineffective food. I can still make it make sense for me, which would then relieve any guilt I have. 

00:37:26 Cinnamon: And I'm also not creating this narrative of, oh, I need a cheat day or I'm just going to make it that was a cheat day because now I've introduced a cheat day into my life. And it's almost like giving me permission because I have a name for it, so I like that switch to effective or ineffective because it speaks to the goal and the goals are varied. 

00:37:48 Monica: Yeah. And once you get into those lifestyle habits of how you eat, it just becomes what you do. That's why it's not like an on again off again diet type thing. I want you to create lifestyle habits that are going to stick because I want to help you reach your goals and I also want you to be able to sustain them because as much as I would love to coach you for the rest of your life, that's not the goal. 

00:38:06 Monica: So, it helps. Even when you're going on vacation, it's like, well, I need protein on my plate. Okay, great. Let's get some chicken on the plate and then maybe we enjoy some other things and we're good to go because you also learn as you start to implement these habits, especially around food and other lifestyle habits. You realize how much you feel like crap. When you don't do those and you go back to old habits and you're like, wow that doesn't serve me anymore because things make me feel very good. 

00:38:31 Monica: So naturally I'm going to go back to the thing that makes me feel better, which makes it sticky the more because you see the long-term benefits of it. 

00:38:37 Cinnamon: Erin and I talk about that same thing in terms of drinking. Like once you get sober, if you pick up, you can never drink like you used to again because you know too much. 

00:38:48 Erin: Yeah. Well, I can still eat brownies just the same. Even when I stop eating brownies for a while, I can still eat them. And I know way too much and I, that doesn't stop me.

00:38:58 Erin: But I'm hoping that we can get this in because I really do wanna find out exactly how folks can find you to work with you. I will definitely put that information in the show notes. I am going to make sure that your book, "Thriving Inside the Blue Line" is on our podcast website so people can get it on the resources page and find it quickly. But you know, what's the best way for people to find you? 

00:39:21 Monica: I have my own website, it's five0fierceandfit.com. If you head there, you can opt into a free shift work nutrition guide. And that'll give you some entry level tips to help you get started as far as cleaning up your nutrition and working towards some personal goals for you. And then also you have my email address that way if you opt into that. I'm on TikTok and Instagram, Facebook as well. I'm on all the socials pretty much. If you want to contact me, you can reach me through the website at five0fierceandfit.com And then the book, "Thriving Inside the Thin Blue Line" is available on Amazon, as a hardcopy and ebook as well. 

00:39:52 Cinnamon: Sweet. 

00:39:53 Erin: Awesome.

00:39:54 Erin: We have some books, girl. We've got some books. Is it on Audible yet?

00:39:59 Monica: It's not. I've had people ask me about it. I'd have to figure out, I have to go back to my book coach and see if we need to do the audio book yet, but we have not. 

00:40:07 Cinnamon: Well, I would love, that's how Erin and I read. We don't know what letters look like anymore. Because we need to be able to read and do dishes at the same time. I would imagine it's always fun as the listener to listen to the author read the book. So yeah, if you can read your own book, then get it on there, man. We'd love it. 

00:40:31 Erin: Even though we don't know what that entails, we're just like, do it. But right. It's like somebody's like, oh, you just like talk? And that makes a podcast, right? Like, Mm hmm. 

00:40:40 Cinnamon: Yeah. That's what we do. Yeah. 

00:40:44 Erin: Well, Monica, we really, really appreciate you. We had a bunch of questions ask you and I'm not kidding. You answered the questions organically without us really even asking you.

00:40:53 Erin: So, I'll be like, oh, "that's not one question.'' So, is there anything that we didn't cover today that you think is important for folks to know? 

00:41:00 Monica: Just know that change starts with you. I actually just sent out an email to my email list today about this but remember your why. Like, why did you get started in this career field? What were your hopes and dreams and wishes when you got started? And are you on that path to still get there? If not, what needs to change? Something needs to change because we didn't get into a career field to be miserable for 20 or 25 years and let go of those dreams just because the environment or the call types or just the job dictates how we show up and feel every day. 

00:41:30 Monica: So, remember that you have that control to take a look inward and see if you're on that path that you originally once were when you started and take control of that and do what you need. Make sure your environment is supported. Make sure everybody around you is supporting you and your goals. And if you feel like that doesn't fit for you, then go where your values supported and respected. 

00:41:48 Cinnamon: Awesome. And hopefully it's not too late to be able to use your voice to do that because sometimes, when we're in those positions, we end up beginning to silence ourselves. So, I love it. 

00:41:59 Erin: Great takeaway. Well, thank you so much for navigating all of this with us. We really appreciate having you on after all this time. And Cinnamon, do you wanna say goodbye on air? 

00:42:10 Cinnamon: Yeah, it's been really fun to talk to you. You are full of wisdom and practical experience. And I think the things that you've been through are hard things to talk about and not probably get accused of or sound like some angry woman, but to be able to speak about it from a place of, this is what happened to me. And to call it what it is and to show other women who may have unfortunately been through something like this, that it doesn't have to be one, the end of your career and you don't have to just sit there and take it. 

00:42:50 Cinnamon: That there are departments out there who will respect you as a law enforcement officer, regardless of what's between your legs. So, I really appreciate you taking your story and turning it into something that can light the fire of other people as well, not just your own. So, thank you. 

00:43:10 Erin: Yeah. 

00:43:11 Monica: Absolutely, I appreciate it. Thank you for having me. 

00:43:13 Erin: Yes, of course.

00:43:19 Erin: Thank you for joining us for today's episode of After the Tones Drop. Today's show has been brought to you by Whole House Counseling. As a note, After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional healthcare advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of any assistance.

00:43:47 Erin: You can also visit afterthetonesdrop.com and click on our resources tab for an abundance of helpful information. And we would like to give a very special thank you and shout out to Vens Adams, Yeti, and Sanda for our show's music.