Simple Ways to Get Present: Tips and Tricks to get Grounded and Slow Down Your Mind

EP16-Simple Ways to Get Present

[00:00:00]
Erin: 
Well, we're going to mix it up a little bit for you today and talk about the gift of presence. So before we get into the meat and potatoes and these cool tools that I'm going to share with you today, I want to make a direct request. How are you liking this show so far? Is it providing value in your life? Is it helping you understand yourself a little bit more exactly what's going on in your brain and your body? If so, nothing tells us more than a rate and review. So if you can take some time to provide some support and feedback by visiting the listening platform of your choice and giving us a rate and review about what your experience has been like and what value this has created in your life. So that listeners know, Hey, this is a nice tool to have something to quite literally have in your pocket on your phone, we would greatly appreciate it and nothing tells us more that you're finding value out of this presence.

[00:01:02] 
What is presence? Presence is being aware of your surroundings. Being in the moment. I like to say being where your butt is, being where your feet are. And in case you haven't noticed, it's little old me, Erin, all alone. Our gal Cinnamon is out in Colorado currently working on expanding her gifts and knowledge and tools by attending the Advanced Accelerated Resolution Therapy training.

[00:01:32] 
While also simultaneously enjoying some family time so that she can bring these tools and resources and this modality back to the clients that we see, to expand on their treatment and their healing and her knowledge. So it's just going to be me and you today. Talking about some of my favorite stuff, which is mindfulness, being grounded, being present in the moment, learning how to use those tools to calm your nervous system, to make a real difference in your everyday life.

[00:02:06] 
Many of you might know if you've listened to our previous podcast that my position with our private practice is an integration coach. I also work as a chemical dependency counselor, helping folks that are struggling with alcohol. maybe even other substance misuse, but my jam, my real jam is the coaching aspect.

[00:02:29] 
I've had people ask me before, like, integration coach, is that psychedelics? Which makes me laugh because there is, in fact, a of integration coach, which does involve psychedelics, but no, no, we don't do that here. but what we do is focus on integrating. The new tools that you have begun to develop and create through the healing of trauma through your treatment plan and Folks will get to a certain process with cinnamon.

[00:02:58] 
They'll be like, okay, I'm feeling a lot better But now what do I do? so from there folks will come to me and we will do some forward thinking and game plan action and something that we call an IVP, which is focusing on eight domains of your life to create structure, to create goal, to create accountability, and really go for the things that folks have always wanted, but don't quite know how to create that for themselves.

[00:03:28] 
And so we joke that the flavor that I have is I offer we get shit done attitude with a little bit of maternal compassion, but that seems to work for our clients nothing brings me more joy than watching people come up with an idea, create a plan, and then actually achieve those goals that they want in their life.

[00:03:49] 
I mean, what's the point of becoming emotionally healthy if you're not going to actually enjoy your life? and so once our clients begin to heal and get a handle on their emotions and behaviors that are no longer serving them through their treatment plan, many of them to pursue coaching.

[00:04:06] 
Why? Well, because they want to continue to build upon the progress that they've made and go from surviving to thriving. And so that's really our vision is, we don't want you to just be in survival mode, which unfortunately it is. It's not uncommon for this particular career to put you in a space of survival.

[00:04:26] 
And no one wants to live like that. I mean, do they? the way that we see things is so if we think about therapy as mental strength and fitness training. Then we can think about coaching as what comes next after you're somewhat, quote unquote, in shape and ready to excel in particular areas of your life.

[00:04:44] 
So coaching is really the getting into action. Coaching is the guidance to create the life that you want with honestly, uh, no bullshit outside perspective and some accountability. And so it just really. Makes me excited. we've been spending weeks now bringing you um, different first responders that have also offered some really cool tools, but One of the things that people have been asking is like, great, I love the fact that you're educating us, that we're understanding now a little bit more, what's going on with my brain, what's happening in my body, why am I feeling like this, like it's very, very helpful, but what about some tools, what could I be doing when I'm feeling at high alert, like I'm feeling really just stressed out, I'm feeling maxed out, I feel like I could blow my top at any given moment, then what do I do?

[00:05:32] 
Obviously, as much as Cinnamon and I would love to live in your pockets and just hop out whenever there's an issue, clearly we can't do that. But what we can do is teach you some tools to be more effective and more efficient when the time comes that you really need to just decompress in that moment.

[00:05:51] 
One of the things I hear people say more than anything is... I'm disconnected. I don't feel present when I'm going through my day to day life. I don't feel like I am at all in that moment, either their brains are elsewhere. They're exhausted and I just want to get present because really when we're not living in the present moment, we are missing out on a lot of really awesome stuff.

[00:06:18] 
So what I thought I would do is spend a little time teaching you and sharing with you a couple of my favorite little tips and tricks on how to get present and I have three different things that you can do that I invite every single one of my clients to do and let me be honest, some of them are resistant.

[00:06:42] 
Some of them look at me like I am batshit crazy, but you know what? That's okay. I'll be crazy because these things do work and when you're feeling hyper alert, when you're feeling like it's just one adrenaline dump after another and you can't sleep, you can't relax, you can't rest. These are the things that can potentially support you and just slowing down a little bit.

[00:07:06] 
You as first responders, you're rushing into the scenes of accidents or any emergency, situation, running into fires, running away from gunfire, whatever that looks like. So the stakes are always high and the emotions are running wild. The chaos is basically the name of the game. so it's moments like these where being present is honestly like having an additional superpower in your back pocket. I mean, it can be the real difference between saving a life and feeling overwhelmed. so when you as first responders are present, you can be fully engaged with the situation at hand. You aren't as distracted by what happened earlier in the shift or by the last run or worrying about what's coming next. It can allow you the opportunity to be real laser focused on the present moment so that you can really assess that scene. And you can make those split second decisions and take action. When necessary, what I tell everybody is that, it's awesome to use these tools when, shit is kind of hitting the fan when you're feeling really maxed out. But more importantly, practicing these particular tools. Before that happens, we'll already inadvertently begin to retrain your brain and slow you down so that when you do get in these stressful environments, you're able to, be present and stay calm and collected amidst all that chaos. it can help you think more clearly, make rapid, well informed choices.

[00:08:32]
You can tap into that training and experience that you have worked so hard to develop without feeling overwhelmed by the weight the situation that you happen to be in. think of it like a mental shield, if you will, that protects you from the stress and pressure that comes with the demands of the job. It's not just about. I'm going to handle that immediate crisis presence also enables you to connect with the people that you're helping. We talk about it all the time, that compassion fatigue, like, good Lord, I cannot care any more, like, I have no more eff's to give. If you will, what this can do is, bring you back down to that human level that you always are. Before you got burnout, before you did one more run on somebody that's overdosed or whatever the thing is like, this is going to allow you to actually be able to tap into that compassion, which really quite frankly, yes, you have skills, but that compassion is what keeps you connected to the folks that you're helping. This can allow you to create and provide that comfort and reassurance and sense of stability to those who are scared, when folks are injured, when folks are in the midst of crisis, you could have that ability. Through mindfulness and presence practices to be that calm in their storm when they are probably the most scared that they've ever been.

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These conferences are creating a safe space for first responders to open up, share their experiences, and learn from one another. And you know what else? These conferences aren't just for first responders. They're also for the families. Because let's face it, they're the backbone of support. including families in this journey, we're building stronger, more resilient communities.

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[00:09:57] 
So being fully present in the moment can create that space of trust and support even in the most difficult decisions and circumstances. So, okay, not gonna lie, my experience is that first responders, actually, anybody that is in a service type of position that's focused out on others are the worst at self care, the worst at taking care of themselves, I'm definitely not judging here because let me tell you that Cinnamon and I have even joked about it before on previous episodes, like we don't do the best job at putting ourselves first. We are at high demand, if you will, to be there for you because there's so many more of you than there are of us. And so sometimes because we're so passionate about what we're doing, we forget that we need to put our self care first. So, all of us, people that are the helpers and heroes and healers of the world tend to forget about self care.

[00:11:00] 
So these mindfulness practices also allow you as a first responder to recognize and manage your own emotions and well being. it can also help you process those intense experiences that you face, ideally would prevent that burnout, and then maybe even seek support that you actually need.

[00:11:19] 
So by taking a moment to go ground yourself and be present, you can actually have an opportunity to maintain your mental and emotional resilience. So, what I want to take a few minutes to kind of walk through with you today is like I said, these three very specific exercises that I give to just about every single person that I come across or that I work with. And quite frankly, these are simple ways to get present. You don't have to be, you know, some Buddha, meditative, guru out there. you don't have to have any practice with any mindfulness work at all. of this stuff is as simple as breathing, quite literally. So, one of the first exercises that I want to share with you is simply taking 10 deep breaths.

[00:12:12] 
This is a simple exercise to center yourself and connect with your environment and you can practice this throughout the day, but especially anytime you find yourself getting caught up in your thoughts and in your feelings. what I love about these three in particular presence exercises is that you can do it.

[00:12:31] 
At any time and nobody really even has to know you're doing it. So if you're worried like, uh, What's Fred doing over there? He looks a little crazy like you don't have to worry about it because some of these things just look quite frankly as Normal as breathing. in this first exercise, which is taking 10 deep breaths What you're going to do is you're going to take 10 slow, deep breaths.

[00:12:57] 
And in that time, you're going to focus on breathing out as slowly as possible until your lungs are completely empty. And then, allow them to refill by themselves. I know we as the controlling natured kind of individuals tend to force things, tend to want to be in control and make things happen. But it's really important that you just trust that your lungs will refill themselves on their own.

[00:13:26] 
So while you're doing this, notice the sensations of your lungs emptying. And then notice them refilling. Notice your ribcage rising and falling. Notice that gentle rise and fall of your shoulders. And see if you can let your thoughts come and go as if they're just passing cars driving past outside your house.

[00:13:46] 
Then you're going to expand your awareness. simultaneously, noticing your breathing and your body, then look around the room and notice what you can see, hear, smell, touch, and feel. Using your surroundings to get you grounded is going to be equally as important. so when you're doing the breathing portion of it, you're going to want to do that 10 times. Slow deep breaths, focusing on your breathing out as slowly as possible until the lungs are completely empty and then allow them to refill all by themselves. 

[00:14:19] 
So you might have to get through a couple. So, let's just say that you are on the third breath. That might be opportunity for you to then begin to include focusing on your thoughts coming and going. So here's the thing. You're not actually focusing on your thoughts. Think of it more like you're letting them come to you and when you recognize them, you're letting them go.

[00:14:47]
Erin: that might look like focusing back on your breath. the other trick to this too is that if you're focusing on your thoughts and you feel like they're just consuming you, that's when you can shift gears and begin to expand your awareness. So you're doing your breathing, but then you're also just looking around the room.

[00:15:05] 
What can you see? What can you hear? What can you smell? What can you touch? Maybe you're touching your shirt, and. You'll be surprised at how many noises you hear when you let the sounds come to you. So that is the first exercise that I wanted to share with you today.

[00:15:23] 
Don't be afraid. it might feel weird at first, but it sure does feel better than feeling just tied up in a knot and feeling stressed out and feeling, I like to think of it as smothered. You know, like it's just hard to catch your breath. It's just hard to move forward. after you get off a run, see if you can get one of these particular, exercises in before you get another call, just to kind of reground you and recenter you for whatever the next run is going to offer you. because sometimes it's hard, you get wound up from one and it's hard to shift gears and go to another run and then be in that space of compassion.

[00:16:04] 
Okay. So the next one I want to share with you is called drop anchor. this is another simple exercise to center yourself and connect with the world around you. you can again practice this throughout the day, especially anytime you find yourself getting caught up in your thoughts and feelings.

[00:16:22] 
You'll hear me say that over and over again, but what you're going to do on this one is you're going to want to plant your feet onto the floor. I invite folks to have their feet shoulder width apart. with the part so that you're really grounded and standing, firm.

[00:16:36] 
And then you're going to push your feet down and notice the floor beneath you supporting you. Notice the muscle tension in your legs as you push your feet down. So really feel like what muscles are engaging in my legs. What is it taking for me to push my feet down into the floor? then you're going to notice The whole thing the feeling of gravity flowing down through your head, your spine, and your legs into your feet.

[00:17:00] 
And then, after that you will look around and notice what you can see and hear around you. Notice where you are and what you're doing. you can hear this common thread here of Paying attention to what's around you. Why? Because that is exactly how to get you in the present. when we're feeling super worked up, super stressed out, oftentimes, it's because wherever we are is anywhere but the present moment.

[00:17:28] 
We're thinking about, Having to work that mandatory overtime and being pissed off about it. We're thinking about that, domestic violence run that you were on where the guy was just a massive a hole and, you had to really do some work on that one. You're thinking about, all the abundance of things that you deal with.

[00:17:46] 
So, it's super important that you use the world around you to get you back into that moment. again, with Drop Anchor, it's planting your feet into the ground and pushing them all the way down and actually noticing that floor beneath you and supporting you. And then notice the muscle tension in your legs as you push your feet down.

[00:18:05] 
Notice your entire body and that feeling of gravity flowing down through your head, spine, and legs into your feet. And then look around you and notice what you can see and hear around you. Notice where you are and what you are actually doing. Okay. The last one I want to share with you is called notice five things.

[00:18:27] 
This is of course yet another simple exercise to center yourself and engage with your environment. Again, surprise, surprise. You can practice this throughout the day, especially anytime you find yourself getting caught up in your thoughts and feelings. So what you're going to do on this one is you're going to pause for a moment.

[00:18:44] 
Look around and notice five things that you can see. Listen carefully and notice five things that you can hear. Notice five things that you can feel in contact with your body. So for example, your watch against your wrist, your pants against your legs, the air on your face, your feet on the floor, your back against the chair, your butt in the seat, whatever that is.

[00:19:06] 
But it's the five things that you can feel your body being in contact with. And then finally, You'll do all of the above simultaneously. pause for a moment, look around. simultaneously, you'll be noticing five things that you can see, five things you can hear, five things that are in contact with your body, okay?

[00:19:27] 
Something that I like to do is, begin creating a structured game plan for mindfulness in your day to day. these are super awesome, like I've said several times, you can do these any time during the day and especially when your thoughts and feelings are getting out of control.

[00:19:45] 
But, It's pretty cool when you can commit to doing something similar to one of these exercises every morning before your shift, whenever your morning is, even if it's at night, but before you get up and get your day going, do yourself a favor and get yourself grounded and ready for the day, as I said before, once you begin practicing all of these exercises, once you begin practicing all of these mindfulness practices, practice, Your brain begins to heal itself. It begins to expand in a way where, Stressful events can make us feel. Really secluded and small sometimes. And so this is an opportunity to really get centered in your day.

[00:20:30] 
I've provided you three really solid exercises in order to begin practicing and incorporating presence into your life so that it can create real value for you and. Those that you love people that are closest to you, you know This is only a few of the many many many things that there are out there to get you grounded get you Refocused to get you back into your body To slow everything down, on episode, I believe it was nine or ten, either way, both, our guest was Tim Sears, the retired firefighter, and he had some really great tips as well on his episode of things that he was doing to begin to ground himself in his day, to begin to use mindfulness tools as his superpower. Even, Jason from episode one. I'm going to talk a little bit about, focusing out, how can you be of service and how can you support each other in these practices? When you're seeing your buddy, when you're seeing your partner, when you're seeing your coworker in a space where they're about ready to blow their gasket, can you offer these tools to them so that They can have, a solution as well, if you're like me, sometimes I need a guide. I need easy guided instructions on how to do something. And if that's you, something that I've done is I've gone ahead and created a few short recordings of these specific. exercises so that all you have to do is push play and I will guide you right through this process.

[00:22:07] 
And sometimes it's really nice to have, especially when you're really feeling stressed and it's hard to collect your thoughts and get into the moment. I call it, find neutral in the moment. If this is something that would be of use to you, I would love to be able to go ahead and pass that information on to you.

[00:22:24] 
All you'll want to do is head over to our website, There is a area there where you can actually subscribe to get updates from After the Tones Drop from us. That'll look like information about upcoming episodes. information about Anything that we have coming up, we often visit conferences and different things that we would love to keep you informed about, but also we can include these little tips and tricks that we're going to begin to incorporate into our show so that not only are you getting educated about what's going on with you and PTSD and about the stresses of life and the job, but you're also getting the tools to have it.

[00:23:04] 
To support you and creating more ease and flow and calmness in your life. So go ahead and head over to the website, which is after the tones drop. com to receive updates from us, and we can make sure that we can get you all that information.

[00:23:20] 
I know we all miss Cinnamon. Oh, but she will be back very, very soon to bring her flavor and ridiculous, quick witted metaphors to us. And I hope that you found some value in these tools today. the other thing would be really cool is if you begin to use these practices, let us know how it's working out for you. we would totally love to hear that these have been some supportive exercises for you.

[00:23:47] 
So, reach out to us. You can, shoot us a message, on our website. You can send us a message through our contact page. You can call the caller hotline and talk about your experience of what it was like to put these mindfulness practices. into action and share your results. That would be really cool too. And again, you can get to our caller hotline simply from our website and you'll see the little ATTD hotline voicemail tab on the right of your screen, whether it's your phone or PC or whatnot. So you know, Hey, maybe you even want to call and share with us what your experience was like putting these mindfulness practices to work, but most importantly, be gentle with yourself.

[00:24:34] 
This is a process. I know so many of us want instant gratification. It is hard to be patient, but change is possible. You just got to be committed and continue to practice. So that is what we're doing. We're integrating these new tools into your life, and integration is combining and adding parts to make things unified and whole.

[00:24:57] And so this is just one little piece or part in creating something new for you in your life. So I hope you enjoy. See y'all soon.